So much for progress...

Most people with goals operate in the following way:
1. Determine goal.
2. Formulate a means to an end (the goal).
3. Execute plan in attempt to achieve goal.

This is how my goal-plan works:
1. Determine goal.
2. Open mouth, insert foot.
3. Attempt to backtrack and convince myself situation is fixable.

Perhaps I should better strategize.

The Stavros pool party was fun, although most of it is a blur of noise and people as I had been drinking since I got there. I remember certain events, but not the order in which they occurred, so my summary may be vague.

This is pretty much what I looked like the whole time:

Mr. Amazing was in charge of the door and checking ID's, so he was the first person I saw upon arrival and was (yes) wearing a speedo. Interesting.

Went inside and said hello to the few people there I recognized; Jason made available to me the margaritas he had mixed earlier in the day, and I said goodbye inhibitions, hello making a fool of myself.

Convinced Lindsey to swim with me, and for an hour at least dodged Albert's attempts to knock my drink out of my hand, an unamusing game of which he was the only participant.

I saved my drink on several occasions, not just from Albert, but from other people pushing me in the pool whilst I was sipping away (of this I am extremely proud -- I sacrificed keeping chlorinated water out of my nose and mouth to save my drink).

At some point Mr. Amazing abandoned his door-watching obligations to swim, that was fun. I think he gave me a couple piggy-back rides, maybe. I had been woken up early that morning due to a couch delivery, so I was tired to begin with, and the booze and swimming also made me pooped, so I sat on a chair feeling drunk and close to passing out when I noticed that Mr. Amazing was spending a lot of time with this one girl in particular at the party that I had never seen before.

Now don't get me wrong, he's a guy, and at that time a drunk guy, and flirted with a lot of people there; that's his personality. But he spent a lot of time with this girl. Hanging out by the pool, dancing inside, etc.

Lindsey and Albert looked like they were getting tired, and mentioned being hungry, so I decided to change into dry clothes and get ready to leave. I'm not sure why, but after I changed I decided to go inside for whatever reason I thought was a good one at the time, and Stavros was DJing at this point so I got caught up in dancing with some girls I recognized from the club everyone goes to but had just formally met that afternoon.

This is a side note: I tend not to dance when I'm sober. At this point I was pretty drunk, and I was breaking. it. down. I know that I think I'm a good dancer when I'm drunk, and I realize it's because I'm drunk that I think that, but these girls were apparently really getting into dancing with me, so...I'm not sure if I'm still a bad dancer or if drinking really does make me better. End side note.

This guy whose name I believe is Darrell and may possibly have been flirting with me earlier moved in and started dancing really close with me, which at the time seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect was definitely not. We danced right in front of where Stavros was set up, and I know that at some point everyone saw me dancing with him, including Albert (who brought it up twice later) and Mr. Amazing.

Anyway, I think I was trying to avoid looking at him so I could enjoy dancing but not the weird tension, but he caught my eye at one point and kissed me. I pulled away because I did NOT want that to happen, let alone in front of Mr. Amazing's two good friends.

Talk about a situation-ruiner. There was some bouncing back and forth of me between the inside of the place and the pool, but we eventually decided to leave and I stopped to talk to Mr. Amazing on the way out.

None of the following conversation snippets are verbatim:

I said, "Hey--are you coming to my birthday party? It's 80's-themed, it should be a lot of fun."
Him: "I'm going to be in San Francisco (alluding to the My Bloody Valentine concert on the actual day of my birth)."
Me: "No, we're having the party the weekend after, I think it's the fourth. You should definitely go (knowing he probably would anyway since the party will be at Justin's and he's at Justin's all the time)."
Him: [very short with me] "Ok. I'll see you then."

I'll see you then? Really? That's over three months away! I can't tell if he sounded rude because he was drunk or because he saw me dancing with that dude, but I don't understand it either way because he had been hanging out with the short-haired girl a good portion of the evening. Or maybe word got around that I left the party with the guy I had been dancing with (who lives across the hall) and went over to his place.

Let me clear this up right away: we went over to his place, I met his dogs (which are adorable), and we danced in his living room. That's it. He tried to kiss me again, at which point I told him that I should get going because my friends and I carpooled and they had been ready to leave.

In addition, I remember at one point hugging Mr. Amazing, and he kissed my cheek. I, being sloshed an in kind of an awkward embrace with him, thought I should return the gesture, and so I tilted my head down, put my forehead against his neck and kissed his chest. I'm not really sure what that means, but as far as sequence of events goes, I'm pretty sure that happened before the aforementioned conversation.

In conclusion, fuck.
Time to remove my foot from my mouth (as far as my actions are concerned) and backtrack, attempting to heal the situation and still attain my goal-getting awards.