SWF

I'm sitting here on the couch, smoking, watching Wedding Crashers, and playing fetch with one of our extraordinarily idiosyncratic cats.

And I enjoy this, I do, this being able to relax in between work shifts at the restaurant and classes and errands and chores, but in doing this semi-regularly and usually alone (at least I feel alone) I'm missing out.

Where's my partner in crime?

I'm going to start taking applications.

ATTN:
Looking for partner in crime. Must have facial hair, be intelligent, tall, love life, and enjoy watching zombie movies in the dark. Preferably a milk drinker (those lactose intolerant need not apply). Must like to get drunk and dance with me. Sarcasm is a plus. Will pay for time worked in weed. Position includes health benefits (i.e., back rubs, stress-reducing pot), and requires organizational skills (to aide in quick pick-ups around the house) and hand-eye coordination (for well-placed high-fives). Please e-mail all resumes, along with references.