General Guidelines for Less-Than-Fine Dining

Rules for the restaurant biz:

As a server:

1. DO NOT stop or turn abruptly.
   
2. DO NOT change direction without warning.
   
3. DO NOT walk backwards.
   
4. DO your sidework.
   
5. DO NOT be a douchebag.

As a "guest":

1. Consolidate! Don't ask for one thing at a time. It's annoying.
   
2. Don't order something that's not on the menu, please.
   
3. Just a reminder: it's polite to tip on your bill's total before any gift card deductions.
   
4. Don't be offended if servers don't laugh at your lame jokes.
   
5. It's not funny to joke about stiffing your server. I don't walk into your job and threaten to deplete your 401K or to walk off with your holiday bonus.
   
6. Be reasonable. Honestly.
   
7. Our restaurant is not your home. If you have a large party, you need to let us know. If you are done with your plates, please leave them on the table for us to pick up and not anywhere else, i.e. other tables, ledges, chairs, etc. If you have small children, prevent them from running around like feral cats.
   
8. You are not the only table in the restaurant. You are just as important, or unimportant, as every other guest I serve.

Thank you for heeding this announcement.