The Decision

I can't believe I'm posting so much.

Actually, I can. It's incredibly boring when you've literally got not one thing to do for ten full days.

Also, it's become quite comforting to be writing. Like visiting a friend, or catching a familiar scent on the breeze.

Or curling up with a good book, which I'll be doing shortly.

I told Lindsey about my dream last night with Mr. LTA, and she said that he had been asking about me last time Loopis and Albert went out together (Friday? Saturday? Was that yesterday? I've nearly lost all track of time). This peaked my curiosity, so I inquired as to what he had been asking about.

"Well, we went out, and he was like, 'Where's Sarah?' So I told him you were in Connecticut, and he said, 'Oh yeah, that's right. I remember her telling me that.' He's been asking about you a lot, lately."

Then apparently our previous dating was brought up, though I can't remember now how it happened, since it came from Lindsey and she was talking fast. I think it went something like this...

"So I told him, 'It doesn't matter anyway, because she's over your ass.' And he said, 'It didn't seem that way when we went on those dates, or the other night when we were dancing.' I told him, 'Sorry, asshole, but she was never interested in dating you*, she just wanted to fool around.' Then he said something like, 'Well, I wish I had known that.'"

*This is partially true. While I had no interest in a long-term, intense relationship, I wanted some kind of monogamous interaction. For instance, if I am sleeping with him, I don't want him to fuck anyone else. This is like a relationship, but my reasons are practical. I want to be safe, and I don't want to contract any VD that he may have contracted from sleeping around.

"Anyway, [Mr. LTA] was like, 'I'd totally fuck her.' Then Justin said, 'Hell yeah!' I think it's funny that Justin has a girlfriend and mentioned in front of [Mr. LTA] that he thinks you're hot and would sleep with you. Maybe now he'll realize."

So I'm pleased to hear that his interest in me is resparked. I guess he got it in his mind that I wanted to start talking babies, a white picket fence, mortgages, and a family dog.

I'm in a position now to get what I want.
But what do I really want?

Not just sex, because that lacks some intimacy.
Or maybe just sex.

I guess I just don't want to rule out any possibilities. I just want to take things one day at a time, as we all should. I'm willing to find out down the road what will happen.

After all, what's the fun in watching a movie if someone insists on telling you the ending?