A Sigh of Disbelief

I think that's finally over.
Whatever was happening to me to make me so unlike myself which shortly resulted in a sea of self-loathing. I was a pathetic sight, for sure.

I broke my own rules of dating, almost every one of them, and I've learned that that can never happen again. I was a fucking mess.

Don't break the rules, for anyone. Under any circumstances.

And so essentially I'm back to where I started. Which is where I find myself, every single time, without fail.

I know I've said it several times in the past, more times than I can count, but I have to cut this shit out. I have to stop thinking that there's someone out there for whom breaking the rules is worth it. He doesn't exist, and I'll only end up hurting myself.

I will never again break the rules. Not for anyone.

He'll have to deal with that. It's up to him, now, whether or not he wants to stick around.

And I will know the answer in T minus 7 months and counting.

I guess I am willing to roll over, if it will protect myself.

Everyone has a price.

Mine is sanity.